For Greater Purposes

One by the one, the flashlights were turned on - illuminating the dark amphitheater where hundreds of students had gathered to remember the lives that were lost. As I looked around the room, I tried to stifle the tears because for one fleeting moment, the weight of this calling settled over my spirit, and I realized just why I was here. 

~

I tried writing this a million different ways, and each time it became ridiculously long and wordy. I guess I tend to be that way. So forgive my stream of conscious, ellipses-saturated novel....

Light In Darkness

As some of you may have realized from my status update on Facebook yesterday, we attended a "candlelight" vigil (it was way to cold to go outside and light candles so we used our flashlight apps) to remember the students that took their lives this semester, and really, every semester for many years back. You may not know this, but Georgia Tech has a notoriously high rate of student suicide. Naturally, it is not something that the university is wanting to advertise, so many times the incidents are repressed and made unaware to the student body, and this is necessary to respect privacy in many cases. Morgan and I knew the statistics before we began ministry here because we researched and tried to identify the areas of brokenness on campus - and of course, this fact was one of the most unsettling.

Months go by. And sometimes, it is a miracle for Morgan and I to just hold our head above water with these students. It can be hard to keep up with their high-intensity, unbelievably academic lifestyles. (I mean, I'm sorry but I don't have any remarks to contribute to your conversation about the periodic table of elements or the nature of velocity as it relates to whatever it is your talking about... do you watch Madmen though?)

So it goes that eventually it feels like enough to just have a few of these students show up to study the Bible, and yes... that is something. But how easily I forget the grander scheme of love and transformation that I believe our Father has for this campus and these students. Sometimes I forget that Jesus actually cares that there is a higher than average suicide rate here. Sometimes it doesn't cross my mind that maybe Jesus isn't just here in this room with these nice Christian students I have gathered, but that He may also be in the dorms... sitting with a student that has spent the last two years of his life here and has yet to make one real friend. Maybe Jesus is also in the study room, with the student that is sobbing quietly because even though she studied for hours and days even, she still hasn't been able to pull a passing grade in her class. Maybe Jesus cares about the students that lose their self-worth and sense of identity because they didn't get the internship they had planned on getting their entire college career.

Maybe Jesus is in all the places we aren't. Maybe He's in all the places we refuse to go. 

As I sat with the students last night at the candlelight vigil, my mind turned toward the young life that was taken last week. I couldn't help but wonder, could this have ended differently? Not just for this student, but the dozens that have taken their lives over the past years... Would this have been the ultimate escape from the pain and torment and loneliness they experienced, or does the Gospel actually provide another way? Does the Gospel truly bring life before death? Does Jesus and His Kingdom witnesses provide a friend for the friendless, love for the lonely, dignity for the unworthy, purpose for the searching, answers for the longing? Does the Kingdom-community of love and belonging actually have the power to save lives?

With tears streaming down my face, I realized that maybe God didn't just call us to Tech to gather a few students to study the Bible. Maybe He called us to Tech because he sees the lonely, the lost, the overworked, the depressed... He longs to answer their cries. Perhaps God doesn't just care about the Christian students... He cares about every corner of the campus, every student - every professor, every dorm room, every class room... Maybe God longs for Georgia Tech to reflect His Kingdom where there are no tears, there is no hunger or thirst, no loneliness... Maybe God wants Georgia Tech to be a place filled with abounding joy, satisfaction and belonging and a place... Perhaps He doesn't want students to end their lives - maybe He longs to give them life... life abundant. Maybe this isn't a far fetched dream... maybe this could be a reality. 

We always talk about how we should be the 'hands and feet' of Christ in the world. But do we actually realize that maybe we really should? Have we ever considered what this could mean if we actually used our hands and feet to administer love and grace instead of judgement? Has it crossed our minds that maybe the love of God that He longs to show these students was intended to pass through us? That we have the power to love our campuses supernaturally? That perhaps, in the moment when students need it most... in the lonely, dark moments when they consider ending it all... we could be the hands that grip them, pull them in, embrace them and whisper: "You are not alone. I am here, and you are so beloved. You are so wanted. There is another way."

A Community of Belonging 

Am I saying all these suicides could have been prevented? I don't know the answer to that... but I do know that on a campus like Georgia Tech, it isn't enough for Christians to stay behind the safety and warmth of four walls. It isn't enough for me to throw together a few Bible studies a semester and call it a day. I really believe that we are called to so much more. I really believe God has called me to this campus because He longs to bring His Kingdom here. He longs to bring His Shalom, His peace... His friendship. I really believe He alone holds the power to renew this campus, and He has invited His followers, His students to go to every dorm room, every class room, every lab... to every corner of this campus... to be His hands and feet- to administer His love and kindness, His purpose and acceptance. If we will not go, who will? If we will not notice the lonely, who will? If we will not befriend the friendless, who will?

Could the story had ended differently if these desperate students were relentlessly pursued by a group of students that had one intention: to love and invite them into something more? Into something real? Into a place where they belong?

And so I wiped the tears away, repenting for the ways I have minimized the call God has asked of InterVarsity at Georgia Tech. For the ways that we have failed to realize how important it is that we give our lives to this - that in some ways it may be life or death for some of these students. And I begged the Lord, send me. And help me send students. Give me eyes to see the places where you are, Lord. Give me hands to bring your healing touch. Give me feet to go where no one else will go.

Change me, God! Change this campus! Bring your Kingdom here! Use InterVarsity at Georgia Tech to bring heaven to earth!