The Catch of a Lifetime

'New Student Outreach' is not for the faint of heart...

First day of school- titled 'Naive'

The life of a first time planter is filled with unpredictability - risks - moments of fear and moments of triumph and moments of absolute failure. But let's be honest, I am really only in my second week! What do I really know?

All the talking about it... all the praying about it... all the fundraising... all the training... none of it actually prepared me entirely for what would come with that first day. I can't begin to tell you the stress, the fear, the work load - mornings began with the sun and ended well past midnight. I had trouble sleeping, worried that if I fell asleep, I might forget to wake up on time and end up sleeping through something important and before you knew it, the whole thing could collapse. I mean the weight of it all - that if I don't go out there and meet those students, then who will? If I don't print out all the flyers, follow up with these contacts, plan these events, then who will?

I quickly learned that if I didn't put action to my cause, then nothing would happen. I had to be brave or no one would be. I had to go way outside my comfort zone, and awkwardly walk up to students passing by, start a conversation, share our vision, and do my best to get them to give us their contact information. This terrified me. I had to be strong or no one would be. I had to learn to face rejection, after rejection. I had to face getting my hopes up really high, and then having them dashed by reality. I had to face frantically running around the city at rush hour, trying to get all the food needed for events in time - tears rushing down my cheeks as all the traffic lights turned red. And God was good in the midst of it all.  Being a planter has already taught me more about the love, the provision, and the power of God than most other things I have done in my life.

Am I even cut out for this? 

Morgan and I had planned weeks ago to have our second, independent event to fall on the second Wednesday of the new school year. The first event, Fresh Start, which was last Friday, ended up taking so much energy, planning, prayer, and prep that we didn't have much time to think about this week's event. So Monday rolls around. I propose we just do a quick Pizza & Bible Study. Maybe study Luke 5 - the 'Calling of the First Disciples.' We decide to invite the students we have met that night. 

Well life happens. And we had other things to complete... names to type in, students to meet, donors to update. And before you know it, it is Wednesday morning - we have a meeting at 10am, and we haven't contacted a single student. We have printed out the Bible study, but we haven't actually prepped it. Morgan begins frantically texting everyone we have met about the event that night, as I gaze apathetically out the window. 

"Morgan, no one is going to come. What's the point?" I whisper. 

"How can you say that? You never know!" She replies. 

I have struggled these past days with wondering, yet again, am I even cut out for this? I mean, there is so much responsibility... so much rides on what I do or don't do... and here I am, messing everything up already. Bible study isn't prepped, no one has been contacted - for all we know, all the missional and pre-missional students have been taken up by all the other ministries. 

"Emmie, we still have to try," she continues. 

"Okay. Fine." 

Luke 5: The Calling of the First Disciples

During our break after meeting students, we went to a coffee shop to finally prep the Bible study. I must admit, it felt pointless. Nearly everyone said they were busy and couldn't come. I personally felt like a failure. I meet all these students, share the vision... but is it going to end there? I give a vision talk, invite them to put feet to their faith... but is anyone going to respond? Is anyone going to join our group? It's amazing how personal everything becomes when you go from being a student to a staff. I felt like it wasn't the group they were rejecting - it was me. 

I continued to bug Morgan and ask her to just cancel it. I didn't want to be in another empty room with no one there. But she was brave and strong and faithful - she reminded me that there is always next week. We can always try again. 

As I read the passage through with Morgan and as I began to study it, I felt the Holy Spirit stir within me. These were fishers that had been out ALL NIGHT and hadn't caught a thing. Not a single fish. And all of sudden, this Rabbi that hasn't the first clue about fishing comes to the scene and tells them way past their bedtime and after they had gone through the work of cleaning their nets to head back out to the deep water and let out their nets again. I mean, Jesus sounds crazy here. What does He know about this? It is an absolutely absurd thing for him to ask. 

But you know what? They obey. 

And they end up with the catch of their life. Enough fish to sink their boats. They witness the powerful abundance of this Jesus, they call Him 'Lord,' and they leave everything to follow Him. 

As I read this, I felt like the fishermen... we have been working and prepping and meeting students for weeks, and we still haven't really caught anything! Maybe it was time to clean up the nets and go home... cancel this Bible study... because I don't want to face that empty room. 

"Emmie, you still have to try," Jesus whispers. 

"But what you are asking is crazy! Why would we buy pizza, prep this study just to sit in that empty room?" I respond. 

"Because, I am asking you to," He responds. 

The Catch of Lifetime 

Forty students at our first event - praising God!

I sat in awe as student after student piled in. Nine students in total. It may not seem like much. But these were nine students we have met over the past few months, invested in, called and emailed and invited... nine students. Before this point, there were no students. Last week, InterVarsity at Georgia Tech was just Morgan and I. Now it is nine students. Only God can bring something from nothing. Only God can bring abundance from emptiness. Only God can bring the catch of a lifetime. 

Tonight, I led nine students that hadn't met before in a manuscript Bible study. We looked at the future-disciples. We shared in new things we hadn't seen before. We were amazed at their willingness to obey. We too were astonished at their catch of fish... but we were even more astonished that this Jesus, this Jesus... was worth leaving everything to follow. 

As I shared what we believed God had called us to on campus - to live out our faith and to share in on campus - to put out our nets out in deep water - to trust God, to obey - to leave everything and follow Him... I felt the words were for me, not just the students. It was God inviting me to live out my faith and share it on campus, it was God asking me obey Him... even when it seemed like this water was way too deep, and I already had too many failures to count... God was asking me - inviting me - to trust Him in all things. Even when it seemed completely pointless.  

I looked around the table and saw their eyes lit up. They eagerly shared testimonies about what they believed God may be calling them to on campus. They asked for prayer to help them reach out to their friends. They signed up to join a missional community and to become trained on how to do a Proxe Station and share the Gospel on campus.... And it had nothing to do with me. It was Jesus. Jesus in His goodness, in His power, in His call... it was Jesus and the hope for what He could mean for campus and their friends that lit these eyes. 

Every awkward fundraising appointment, every sleepless night, every fear... it was all worth it. And I will go through it again and again willingly for this moment: I witnessed the first ever students of InterVarsity at Georgia Tech respond to Scripture and God's call on their life. 

I held back the tears, as I repented silently of my disbelief in God's power.
"Don't be sad, and no longer be afraid; now you are a fisher of men," He lovingly whispered.

This is it. This is the catch of a lifetime. 

Immanuel: God With Us

Today I shared the vision of InterVarsity with a student that doesn't know Jesus. And in our conversation, I told her that I believed that Jesus brings us hope. Abounding hope. Real hope. Hope that overcomes the world and all of its brokenness. When she walked away with an information card in her hand, I felt a deep sadness well up inside me. I didn't understand why, and as I drove to my friend's house - I felt the sadness growing and an emptiness fill me.

Do I really believe that? Do I really believe that Jesus offers hope? Do I really believe that Jesus is the only hope in this world riddled with pain, war, famine, poverty, disease... depression? Do I really believe He is hope enough for these students?

Do I believe He is hope enough... for me?

With the tragic passing of Robin Williams, the internet has blown up with articles and anecdotes imploring that we as a society take seriously the issue of depression and mental unwellness. To be honest, it was hard to read a lot of those things because I have quietly struggled with depression for much of my life. It is not something many people know about, including my own family. I have sought counseling and received much support in this area, but it is still something that affects me, unfortunately, very often. Including the past few months.

It's not something I ever talk about except with the people I am closest to because in some ways, it is a taboo subject among Christians. It is highly misunderstood, simplified, and overlooked by a lot people, even though many Christians wrestle with depression and mental unrest on varying levels.

I never understood why it was difficult for me to find satisfaction and joy in life, when all around me were Christians that reveled and rested in the peace that Christ brings. It was extremely hard for me to come to terms with the reality that life is not always filled with beauty, and truth, and divine moments of self-actualization - but it is in fact often filled with suffering, loneliness, and despair. It is filled with sleepless nights. It is filled with tears that are shed for no apparent reason. It is filled with cries of anguish and depravity. And there are times when I question if I believe that there is real and lasting hope in this world - real and lasting hope in Jesus. It is hard to see the light through the clouds.

I believe that the Bible speaks into depression. One can't go far into the Psalms without coming across an agony-filled lament that doesn't have a happy ending. I can never forget the cries of David saying that his sorrow is so great, it is as if tears were his very food and drink... his couch was flooded with tears... his bed was filled with them. We see sadness, dissatisfaction, emptiness, loneliness, and abandonment throughout Scripture. Even our beloved Jesus spends an entire night in such destitution, that He sweats blood. Even our beloved Jesus weeps.

What a Savior... what a God - Scripture calls him "Immanuel" meaning "God With Us."

God with us...

Doesn't it seem like God - an omnipotent, omniscient, perfect being should separate Himself as far from us as possible? Doesn't it seem like our sin, our darkness, our emptiness... our depression should deter Him? Doesn't it seem like He would remove Himself from our woes? If this is truly in fact the consequence of our depravity, wouldn't He be justified in letting us have what was coming to us?

Instead, we see God so loved the world - so loved us - in all of our brokenness, all our suffering... He came to make His home among us. He wrapped Himself in our tender, human flesh and stepped into the mess. After a scandalous birth among livestock, He came to us only to flee immediately as a refugee to an unknown land. He grew up familiar with poverty. He spent His life walking around with dust on His feet, with only a group of flaky, even disloyal men to call His friends. He witnessed unspeakable brokenness, heartache, disease, and oppression. And in the end, He was betrayed by His own, flogged nearly to death, and hung for the whole world to make a mockery of Him.

He is not a distant God. He is not observing our troubles from on high. He is not ignorant nor negligent of our pain. He came as one of us, and stepped right into our humanness and our sorrows, and He did not shy away. He wept. He became acquainted with our sorrows. Familiar with our pain. He too knew the darkness of depression and utter hopelessness. Instead of shielding Himself from the throes of reality - He willingly gave Himself up to die a humiliating, excruciatingly painful death that was the very thing that brought us life and life abundant. He was truly God with us. God With Us.




Only He can bring fullness and wholeness to our human brokenness. Only He can make it right. This does not mean that we can solve all our problems by praying harder and trying harder. Depression is an illness that often requires medical and psychiatric attention. But we have Hope in knowing that as we suffer and wrestle through the hard times in life, we are not alone. We are not abandoned. We are not unseen. We are loved desperately and deeply by a good, gracious, and loving God that left the glories and splendor of His Kingdom for our streets and neighborhoods and our flesh. We have a God that is not afraid of our mess - not afraid of our brokenness. We have a God that brought beauty from ashes, joy from pain, wholeness from emptiness, and life from death. We have a God that never leaves, never forsakes, never gives up on us.

And it is in my beautiful humanness, beloved by God, that I can tell every student at Georgia Tech that - yes, Jesus is truly Hope of the World.