Lessons from Fish

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that I caught eight fish tonight.

This may not seem like a big deal, but you should know... I grew up on a lake in the south and fishing is practically a way of life, and I have gone 25 years of my life without ever having caught a fish the traditional way on my own. 25 years.

But tonight, I caught eight. All by myself. In fact, I was the only one to catch any fish at all tonight. They latched onto my hook again and again, and I reeled them up excitedly, becoming braver with each new fish I managed snag from the water.

I was amazed, because of all the times I have gone fishing, I have wondered why I have never caught anything. Not even once. I would always leave disappointed. And all of sudden, out of nowhere, I caught eight and actually had closer to 12 interact with my line and hook.

The scene had me thinking of the man Jesus, asking the man Peter to let out his nets for a catch even though his nets had already been out all night, and he hadn't caught anything. By obeying the command of Christ, the nets that Peter had let out were so full to bursting that his ship was beginning to sink. That is probably more than eight fish I think, but to me, the miracle felt tangible and so relatable to me... 25 years and I haven't caught a thing, and now I am bringing in more fish than my tiny ice chest can hold.

When I got back and told my dad about the catch of fish, he was elated. I asked him his thoughts on why all of sudden I had caught so many fish, and you know what he said? He told me it probably had to do with the fact that it has recently rained and was slightly cloudy.

And there it was. A simple lesson from my loving God and Father that watches and tends my soul:

Sometimes the plentiful harvest comes after a season of toil.
Sometimes the deepest rest finds us after long lengths of weariness.
Sometimes remarkable joy becomes us after we have sowed in tears.
Sometimes the most incredible victory is ours after we have struggled to overcome.

Sometimes the greatest catches of our lives come after the rain. 

a song from beneath the trees

All beautiful and wonderful things exist to remind us our Belovedness.

I embrace the feeling of the blazing sunlight coaxing beads of sweat from my sticky skin. Gazing up, there isn’t even a tiny wisp of cloud in the sky. It is a piercing, limitless blue - if it weren’t for the tall oaks and sycamores surrounding me, I think I would be swallowed up by the formless sky, overwhelmed by the consuming atmosphere that has kept us alive for thousands of years. Every few moments, an unlikely breeze would cause the hairs on my head to whip and twirl and curl into each other, tickling my face and eyes. The Voice on the wind comes to me in those moments - just a still and quiet whisper barely stirring the surface of the waters.

“Beloved.”

All around me
overwhelming blue, a sky held up by trillions of dancing molecules, casting light and stars as a backdrop for all of creation
ancient trees swaying and tossing their branches, their leaves drinking up the sun and recycling the very air we expel, returning to us the air we must consume
a mountain lake, brimming with life - dazzling sunlight bouncing off it’s surface, a mirror that reflects back to the beholder all the beauty of the earth

And there, among it all, stand I: a privileged witness.
Marvelously alone,
invited to stand with my eyes open and say nothing,
drawn in to stand with my hands open and touch nothing.
Majesty and mystery that abide for No One.
There is no applause, and it doesn’t even ask for one.
There is no acclaim, and it doesn’t even require it.
It exists because it can do nothing else,
it is beautiful because it can be nothing else,
and it does not require my eyes, my applause, or my acclaim
for it to be Known.

And yet, in the miraculous, overcoming beauty of all that is here:
the old, friendly trees with toiling green leaves and interwining branches
lakes and waters, growing deep; their mystery unfathomable
mountains stretching high, hands reaching out to curl around the sun
and yes, even the sky, the cradle of Light itself

even here in this delicate, passing moment where time and space collide,
the most wonderful thing of all
there is still a Voice, ever whispering in a language only I can understand:

“I see and know and crafted every inch of this, but you, my darling, you are my Beloved.” 

Belonging to Each Other

Orange roses... one of my favorite colors. I gaze at their soft petals blooming toward the Spring sun. And there is my favorite iced coffee, sweating slowly, waiting for me to consume it. The most wonderful of these gifts, however, is her. My best friend. On a day where I feel overwhelmed and stricken down by life and its disappointments, she comes rushing in bearing coffee and flowers and embraces me in a knowing way, completely aware of how traumatized and overcome I feel, so desperate to make it better. What she could never know, is that even in that one act of sacrifical kindness, she revealed even more of God's goodness and love for me.

These are the moments that breathe meaning and beauty into the miraculous gift that is every day of our rather short lives. 

When I read about the tender power of God as he intricately, gently, and wonderfully crafted man from the very dust of the earth - I am moved by the staggering intimacy that the very breath of our loving Creator was the air that filled our lungs and caused our body to pulse with life and being. And yet, despite the remarkable work of bringing forth what was once not, the story has not reached it’s climax. The Divine Craftsman looked upon the child of Earth, the miraculous existence that was a fragile reflection of his own Majesty, and his words were: “It is not good for him to be alone.” In a place where all things under the sun and of the sun were good and perfect and right, there was in Adam’s loneliness, one not good thing. And the Merciful Righter-of-Wrongs gave relationship to man, and the unsurpassable gifts of Union, Love and Friendship, came bursting forth into our reality.


At the very core of God is relationship. He exists in Three, each vivid manifestation of his goodness dancing in perfect Love with the other - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God, in all that he is, is not alone, and we, bearers of his divine image, are not created to be alone. Humans are, in fact, made for each other.

Though our tendency as humans is often to crumble into ourselves, to isolate and consume our energy and time with self-absorbed thoughts and selfish ambition, and to protect ourselves from rejection, misunderstanding and the other pains that humans will inevitably inflict on one another, it is not how we were created to live.

We were created for each other. 

This is what I think when my friend brings me flowers on a day when I feel sad. Or when she extends forgiveness over a bowl of hot tofu soup after I have done something that truly hurt her. I revel in this truth when I get a text from my friend from far away, offering encouragement and honesty and solidarity in the struggle of being a single woman when all your friends are falling in love and getting married. It is the reality when my roommate sits on my bed as she covers me in a merciful embrace, and cries with me as I confess my shortcomings and pain and longings, and helps me come to the Father to receive grace and strength to face the crippling reality of life. It is found in the nights we spend getting dressed up to dance into the early morning hours, seeping in the vivid and blazing expectation of all that lies before us. It is grabbing coffee with my mentor and hearing him speak words that empower and equip me to do all that I can and be all that I was created to be. I am reminded of it every time I play with the baby, his smile stretching wide across his face as he plants a wet kiss on my cheek. I feel it when I spend hours discussing the ethereal beauty of words and stories  and dreaming up new ones with my best friend, and the joy of knowing that despite the distance between us, when we see each other again, it will feel like no time has passed. It is standing next to her on her wedding day and witnessing the greatest decision of Love she will make. It can even be found in the coy, lingering glances across the room and the burning heat of falling for someone, the excitement of what could come- the dazzling electricity of a kiss. It is hearing the deep pain of my friend as he opens up about the trauma he has experienced just being who he is, and it is realizing what a privilege it is to listen and to know.

And we belong to one another.

We are messy people. We hurt each other and harbor distrust and betray one another. The world is wrought with our relational brokenness in so many ways, and we so easily forget we were made for each other. We so easily forget that despite our differences, we are all fragile reflections and bearers of the image of our Relational God, forever alive and in Love with each part of what he is. We so easily forget that though it feels safer to protect our souls by tucking into ourselves, it is not good for Us to be alone. And it never was.

This is the gift and the miracle of our existence: that we are trusted and loved and hurt and healed and understood and empowered and forgiven and advocated for and broken and enjoyed and truly, deeply known by each other. That by some mysterious reality, we belong to one another, and when we truly live with each other and for each other, we touch the Divine.

When we are together, we become what we were created to be. When we are together, we reflect more completely the image of our Father.

We become his hands as we wipe the tears of our friend away. We become his warm laughter when we celebrate and enjoy all the unique beauty radiating from each other. We become his goodness when we surprise our friends with flowers and coffee, and his kindness when we tell each other it is going to be alright. We become his unwavering love when we say we won't leave when things get hard, and we actually mean it. We become his grace when we forgive each other, even when they may have hurt us really deeply. We become his guidance when we walk with our friends through difficulty and painful times. We become his light when we help heal and soothe the wounds that afflict us and remind each other of what is actually true. We become his ears when we listen. We become his advocacy when we protect and defend and stand up for one another when someone is denied justice. It truly is a miracle.

What a gift, that God would give us each other.