Confessions of a Single 24-Year-Old

So you know how you spend as much of your childhood and adolescence living in the mysterious future as you do in the present? I was that young person that spent a good majority of my internal life daydreaming and imagining the future I would one day have when freedom was mine.

Naturally I had developed a plan that would secure the best use of the freedom that adulthood would afford me:

Step one: Meet a wonderful Godly man in college.
Step two: Convince him to marry me.
Step three: Get married at 24 years old.
Step four: Have my first child at 27 and continue until 35 ensuring that I get to spend my youth running around with them while also ensuring they would be out this ish when I was still young enough to enjoy my older years. (what??)

What a great plan. 

A kingdom of isolation - and it looks like... I'm the queen.

It's so hilarious looking back at it now, because I am 24 in less than 20 days, and no... there is no wedding taking place or even the prospect of one in the next few years. Which throws off step four... well, actually looking at this - none of these steps actually came to pass or will come to pass... and -

And I know what you're thinking. Are you crazy? 24 years old? Why are you freaking out? There is hope for you yet! Everyone knows getting married before 25 is a stupid ambition anyway. Enjoy those single years girl! Start worrying when you're 40 or something!

(In my defense, southern culture tends to promote early marriage, especially in Christian circles. So I was basically raised under the impression that everyone got married right after college.)

So what happens when dreams and hopes and plans for life don't pan out how you want them to? What happens when you always thought you'd get hitched along with all your other friends before your 25th birthday, and 24 years comes along and you are as single as the day you came into this world?

This happens: 

You have great friends that fill your life with joy and fun and late nights playing video games or throwing incredible parties or dancing to Beyonce until the wee hours of the morning. You sit huddled around a space heater because your air unit is broken and watch your favorite television show with your roommates. You go on trips to the mountains and blare Taylor Swift the whole way. You have Harry Potter marathons and drink butterbeer. You drive through the city with the windows rolled down and laugh at college memories.

You read great books that stay with you for days. You drink good wine and learn to cook interesting food. You decorate your house for Halloween and give out candy to trick-or-treaters. You spend hours stuffing your face with Korean BBQ or shell out too much money to watch Interstellar at the swankiest joint in town. You learn new hobbies and ponder opening an Etsy shop. You go to Waffle House at four in the morning and regret it for days.

You follow Jesus, and he takes you on crazy adventures. You see new shores - fly to new places - learn new things. You meet people you never would have imagined knowing. You call them at midnight because they live in a different time zone. You have spiritual conversations with people over coffee and invite them to follow Jesus. You pursue the Kingdom of God in every area of your life, and with each day, it fills another dusty corner of your soul. You stand free in the overwhelming love that Jesus pours into you, and it flows into others.

So what do you do? You live. 

You enjoy every moment of life whether it was exactly as you pictured it or not. You laugh at things that are funny, you cry when things are disappointing, you grab the hand that reaches out to you when you are afraid of being alone forever. You find joy and meaning in friendships and family. You find wholeness in being loved completely by God. You discover yourself in ways you never thought possible.

You live. 

I feel the need to tell myself that even though I am still single and will most likely be for a while yet - I am a whole person. My life is miraculous and adventurous and fun - it is full. It is more than enough. It will not begin when (or if) I get married to some Godly man I met outside of college. It is every moment of every day, including this one. I am unmarried and unattached to a member of the opposite sex, but I am not alone. No, not at all. And I do not live void of love. I am surrounded by love. My worth does not depend upon whether a suitor finds me attractive or grade-A marriage material. And neither does the satisfaction I have with my life.

So yeah, I'm 24. Single. But I'm fully alive. Every day is a gift.

And that's all good.