'New Student Outreach' is not for the faint of heart...
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| First day of school- titled 'Naive' |
All the talking about it... all the praying about it... all the fundraising... all the training... none of it actually prepared me entirely for what would come with that first day. I can't begin to tell you the stress, the fear, the work load - mornings began with the sun and ended well past midnight. I had trouble sleeping, worried that if I fell asleep, I might forget to wake up on time and end up sleeping through something important and before you knew it, the whole thing could collapse. I mean the weight of it all - that if I don't go out there and meet those students, then who will? If I don't print out all the flyers, follow up with these contacts, plan these events, then who will?
I quickly learned that if I didn't put action to my cause, then nothing would happen. I had to be brave or no one would be. I had to go way outside my comfort zone, and awkwardly walk up to students passing by, start a conversation, share our vision, and do my best to get them to give us their contact information. This terrified me. I had to be strong or no one would be. I had to learn to face rejection, after rejection. I had to face getting my hopes up really high, and then having them dashed by reality. I had to face frantically running around the city at rush hour, trying to get all the food needed for events in time - tears rushing down my cheeks as all the traffic lights turned red. And God was good in the midst of it all. Being a planter has already taught me more about the love, the provision, and the power of God than most other things I have done in my life.
Am I even cut out for this?
Morgan and I had planned weeks ago to have our second, independent event to fall on the second Wednesday of the new school year. The first event, Fresh Start, which was last Friday, ended up taking so much energy, planning, prayer, and prep that we didn't have much time to think about this week's event. So Monday rolls around. I propose we just do a quick Pizza & Bible Study. Maybe study Luke 5 - the 'Calling of the First Disciples.' We decide to invite the students we have met that night.
Well life happens. And we had other things to complete... names to type in, students to meet, donors to update. And before you know it, it is Wednesday morning - we have a meeting at 10am, and we haven't contacted a single student. We have printed out the Bible study, but we haven't actually prepped it. Morgan begins frantically texting everyone we have met about the event that night, as I gaze apathetically out the window.
"Morgan, no one is going to come. What's the point?" I whisper.
"How can you say that? You never know!" She replies.
I have struggled these past days with wondering, yet again, am I even cut out for this? I mean, there is so much responsibility... so much rides on what I do or don't do... and here I am, messing everything up already. Bible study isn't prepped, no one has been contacted - for all we know, all the missional and pre-missional students have been taken up by all the other ministries.
"Emmie, we still have to try," she continues.
"Okay. Fine."
Luke 5: The Calling of the First Disciples
During our break after meeting students, we went to a coffee shop to finally prep the Bible study. I must admit, it felt pointless. Nearly everyone said they were busy and couldn't come. I personally felt like a failure. I meet all these students, share the vision... but is it going to end there? I give a vision talk, invite them to put feet to their faith... but is anyone going to respond? Is anyone going to join our group? It's amazing how personal everything becomes when you go from being a student to a staff. I felt like it wasn't the group they were rejecting - it was me.
I continued to bug Morgan and ask her to just cancel it. I didn't want to be in another empty room with no one there. But she was brave and strong and faithful - she reminded me that there is always next week. We can always try again.
As I read the passage through with Morgan and as I began to study it, I felt the Holy Spirit stir within me. These were fishers that had been out ALL NIGHT and hadn't caught a thing. Not a single fish. And all of sudden, this Rabbi that hasn't the first clue about fishing comes to the scene and tells them way past their bedtime and after they had gone through the work of cleaning their nets to head back out to the deep water and let out their nets again. I mean, Jesus sounds crazy here. What does He know about this? It is an absolutely absurd thing for him to ask.
But you know what? They obey.
And they end up with the catch of their life. Enough fish to sink their boats. They witness the powerful abundance of this Jesus, they call Him 'Lord,' and they leave everything to follow Him.
As I read this, I felt like the fishermen... we have been working and prepping and meeting students for weeks, and we still haven't really caught anything! Maybe it was time to clean up the nets and go home... cancel this Bible study... because I don't want to face that empty room.
"Emmie, you still have to try," Jesus whispers.
"But what you are asking is crazy! Why would we buy pizza, prep this study just to sit in that empty room?" I respond.
"Because, I am asking you to," He responds.
The Catch of Lifetime
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| Forty students at our first event - praising God! |
I sat in awe as student after student piled in. Nine students in total. It may not seem like much. But these were nine students we have met over the past few months, invested in, called and emailed and invited... nine students. Before this point, there were no students. Last week, InterVarsity at Georgia Tech was just Morgan and I. Now it is nine students. Only God can bring something from nothing. Only God can bring abundance from emptiness. Only God can bring the catch of a lifetime.
Tonight, I led nine students that hadn't met before in a manuscript Bible study. We looked at the future-disciples. We shared in new things we hadn't seen before. We were amazed at their willingness to obey. We too were astonished at their catch of fish... but we were even more astonished that this Jesus, this Jesus... was worth leaving everything to follow.
As I shared what we believed God had called us to on campus - to live out our faith and to share in on campus - to put out our nets out in deep water - to trust God, to obey - to leave everything and follow Him... I felt the words were for me, not just the students. It was God inviting me to live out my faith and share it on campus, it was God asking me obey Him... even when it seemed like this water was way too deep, and I already had too many failures to count... God was asking me - inviting me - to trust Him in all things. Even when it seemed completely pointless.
I looked around the table and saw their eyes lit up. They eagerly shared testimonies about what they believed God may be calling them to on campus. They asked for prayer to help them reach out to their friends. They signed up to join a missional community and to become trained on how to do a Proxe Station and share the Gospel on campus.... And it had nothing to do with me. It was Jesus. Jesus in His goodness, in His power, in His call... it was Jesus and the hope for what He could mean for campus and their friends that lit these eyes.
Every awkward fundraising appointment, every sleepless night, every fear... it was all worth it. And I will go through it again and again willingly for this moment: I witnessed the first ever students of InterVarsity at Georgia Tech respond to Scripture and God's call on their life.
I held back the tears, as I repented silently of my disbelief in God's power.
"Don't be sad, and no longer be afraid; now you are a fisher of men," He lovingly whispered.
This is so precious!
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