2013: A Year-End Review

Facebook has this interesting new feature that allows one to view the past year in retrospect.

2013. It was - apparently - a year marked with deep sorrow and deep joy.

I was called to InterVarsity in snowy St. Louis in January.
I was accepted as a provisional employee by April.
I graduated university in May.
I was trained and equipped to be an InterVarsity staff worker in Madison, Wisconsin in June and July.
I moved into a house in Tucker, GA without a ton of financial security in August.
I struggled, worked, and pressed through difficulty with Morgan as we fundraised all through late Summer and early Fall.
I was officially hired in November - God provided for my needs.
I took my first step onto Georgia Tech campus as a full time staff worker in December.

And now I am here. Looking through the memories, the pictures, the journey entries, and the conversations that have made up the fabric of my life this past year. It has been a crazy, amazing, painful, wonderful year. So much change. So much difficulty. So much growth. So much laughter. I am incredibly blessed, and I am incredibly thankful at this amazing journey that I have had the opportunity to take part in.

Isn't it strange how just 365 days can alter one's perspective and life circumstances beyond recognition?

I think back to the girl I was this time last year. I was so scared... so frightened of the life that was ahead of me. A couple of close relationships I had in my life were teetering on the edge of brokenness, and my desperate attempts to fix them kept me from connecting and engaging in the community around me. I felt lost and disconnected from others. I was basing so many of my life decisions on how it would work with the decisions of others and for the first time in my life I completely lost touch with the person that I truly am. The 'Emmie' that God fashioned me to be felt distant. The person I saw when I looked in the mirror disappointed me - I felt weak. Isolated. Unmotivated. Lost.

I don't see a perfect woman in the mirror now. I still have moments of weakness, isolation, laziness, and loss - but I am stronger. Separation from certain relationships have brought me real freedom. Struggles and hardships have begun to refine my character. God's call on my life has given me new purpose. And one of the most welcome realities of all, enjoying a deepening relationship with God has not only brought me back to my true self, but it has helped me love and adore my true self. The self that reflects the Creator.

I write all of this hastily because these are thoughts that have been swimming in my head and heart as I thank God for this strange and mysterious life. It is true that we will have hardship, and we will suffer in this life - but Jesus gives us strength and somehow manages to work things our for our good. Only he could take the dark, twisted agony of sin and fashion it into something beautiful. I am thankful for 2013 - the hardest year of my life so far. I am thankful for the woman it has made me into. And I am looking forward to what 2014 has to offer - what will another 365 days accomplish in my life and in my calling? What adventures will I go on? What places will I see? What lives will be transformed?

I don't know. But I am ready for it.

Urbana Missions Conference were I was called to InterVarsity.
December/January 2013

Spying out the land at Georgia Tech.
April 2013

Morgan sharing the IV@GT vision with a neighbor.
May 2013

InterVarsity Orientation for New Staff in Madison, WI.
June/July 2013

My best friend's wedding!
October 2013

New staff at Regional Staff Conference.
November 2013

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and have enjoyed some time of self-reflection on the past year. I pray you will face the new year with anticipation and joy and above all... hope.